News Flash, no time off.......

My kids are both in school full time now. I spent many a pre-k days wiping buts and watching Dora reruns, praying for the day that both of my kids were in full time school.  I dreamt of going back to school, filing the "to be filed" box that is four years in the making, tanning, losing weight, getting a JOB and speaking to other adults on a regular basis. I had this crazy idea that I would have "time" for myself while the kids were in school.

News flash, nope, no time for me.



I'm sorry you need an extra roll of toilet
paper. We may need to discuss that?

I did start school online and but the majority of the time I'm still working towards the kids and mainly Jonathan's goals. Now, it's seems more than ever I've got my work cut out for me. Jonathan's inclusion classroom is being closed/cut. Our school
district has somehow screwed themselves monetarily and budget cuts are down to the marrow.

Inclusion is covered the IDEA act by the federal government but that isn't stopping our school board from cutting inclusion, eliminating teachers and aides and otherwise ignoring ESE student's rights. Worst of all the school's aren't telling parents. We were only told because our teacher understands the
commitment we have to our kids education.

So, where does all this drama and subversion put us? At school board meetings, at meetings with the Superintendent, writing letters to the Governor, posting online chat rooms, calling reporters, talking to other parents. It seems after the wedding, the universe decided I had a vacuum to fill.

As much a myth as June Cleaver!

So now during the day I try to accomplish these things along with all the regular mommy work and online schoolwork to be done. I handle EVERYTHING except making the money. With this school year nearly wrapping up I can count the days I've tanned, crocheted or done anything besides work towards one goal another on zero fingers.

For Mothers Day I got guilt and a sunburn

To my chagrin I saw many FB posts before Mothers day about mom's spending the day with their kids for mothers day. I know many of those moms didn't have childcare I understand that plight, BUT is it wrong to want to be away for "Mothers" day? If you can't get a break on "Mothers Day" when DO you get a break? Those motherhood-is-shiny-and-glorious posts accompanied by magical sunset photos remind me very much of another bloggers post "Don't Carpe diem"  http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html. Personally, I wanted the day off more than any pesticide laden bouquet but you've got to love social networking, its a great way to impose/assume guilt and judgment without actually speaking to a person.


I spent the day today, away from my children. That is right for mothers day I took, bum-bum-bum, the day off. Well at least part of the day. I've had this kid free beach trip dream for about three years and between myself and my best friend, it's taken us both one divorce and this amount of time to get child care so we could go to the beach for ONE (half) day and have time to ourselves. Well, I'm experiencing the after glow of my first kid less trip to the beach in over ten years, wait maybe that's is a sunburn......

 It was extremely relaxing to go "restaurant" (Ok, McDonald's) and not worry about packing food my kids could eat, avoiding the ball pit, eating hot food without serving others, watching for the rogue fry indulgence, enjoying leisurely conversation without having my neck on a constant swivel aware of where my children might have gone too or what they might be into. On the way to the beach we spoke freely, using whatever language I felt like using at the moment without self censure worried that my words may be parroted at the worst possible moment, most likely to my child's teacher.

At the beach I actually relaxed. I didn't have to worry about rip tide, traffic proximity, the sting ray shuffle, organic heavy metals free sunscreen or my kids tendency to pee into the shore line twenty feet from people fishing (yes, that actually happened once).

Ah, I breathed in a few deep breaths. Those blissful moments of sun baked laughter, tranquility and shared relaxation are going to have to last before I go back under.

Monday morning begin holding my breath again for:

IEP meetings
Dan Doctor protocols,
Dan Doctor appointments,
Therapy meetings,
School Board meetings,
Teacher meetings,
Learning ABA
Food preparation,
Camp planning,
Doctor appointments,
Insurance hassles,
Florida Government bill research

and those are just the things related to Autism, not even regular mom stuff...................

Looking at all I do, regular and Autism related, beyond the "to-do" list of day to day list seems overwhelming.  So I will take one (half day, lol) to myself without feeling guilty. I will make more time to resurface and refuel (before I pass out and cause brain damage).
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