Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Utopia, my personal hell
As evidence of my subconsciousness activity, last week my fears played a staring role in my nocturnal picture show. I had a dream about after the apocalypse (unspecified in nature). My family and I were living in a concrete high rise horticultural structure, utopia right?
In the dream Jonathan and I were strolling through the roof top greenery. As in any good utopia fantasy we are wearing whiten linen, he is hugging me and giggling while I poke him in the ribs for a good tickle. Suddenly a blaring alarm sounds and he runs from me panicked. I frantically try to catch him on his panicked descending route. He is a mere fingers breadth beyond my reach when I realize "the colony" is trying to separate us. "The colony" is trying to kill Jonathan because of his disability. I'm a reproductive female and he is a resource suck, thus the separation and his subsequent murder. Thankfully my dream abruptly ends before the anticipated ended leaving room for the hope that I reach him in time to forestall his execution. Maybe I've seen the Postman one too many times but this fear for my family is real.
I've seen Jonathan become a mess from eating a (yes, singular) chocolate chip cookie. How hard would SCD/organic food be to come be in a week long power outage? How long would my personal sanity hang on without ABA therapists or school to cage, I mean captivate my children?
Now that I've got the yuck out of my mind I'm going to bed, thank you Internet for being my captivate audience.