I used the play date excuse to recruit another mom who I like and don't get to see enough to wrangle her into coming to the play date. Her son and J had been in the same classroom on and off for over three years. We talked about the summer and how the kids were doing as a result of the change in schedule. J is getting louder (lots more screaming). Her son has is having difficulty too. Also since starting summer school he started shunning all peer to peer interaction by putting his hands up and yelling "NO" when a peer approaches him. She's worried about his placement for next year. His behaviors are getting to the point that he cannot continue to function well in a academic classroom. After that we discuss the ABA that he just got approved for, a whole whopping eight hours. She's trying to get it done at the school but they haven't placed him with a therapist, one month in on a six month insurance approval (that she fought tooth and nail to to get!). Then we talk about the dental work her son has to have done, there is one dentist that takes their insurance and that is willing to put him out. Of course it's far out of their way, inconvenient and it is terrifying to have him put under anesthesia for a simple cleaning, cavity fill and set of x-rays but what choice do they have.
They both sound like I felt when I wrote "it 10 am and I'm exhausted" (http://autismspewage.blogspot.com/2012/07/im-exhasuted-and-its-only-10am.html). I feel like I did what I could for both. I was a shoulder to cry on and someone to complain to and bounce ideas of off. I gave them what information I thought would help and even offered to make a few calls myself.
I just have to take a minute and to acknowledge how grateful I am for that. J is by far not neurotypical but he's not excluded or treated differently at this point either. Our friends and family have never turned us away or not respected our treatment modes or scoffed at our ideas. I know that that support alone has helped us as a family and helped him in turn make the significant progress he has made. After seeing so much sadness, so much downtrodden aloneness I feel grateful for the small group of people we have. I have a lot of days that are like "its 10am and I'm exhausted" (http://autismspewage.blogspot.com/2012/07/im-exhasuted-and-its-only-10am.html) but I guess the great thing is that ALL the days aren't that way. I don't feel totally adrift, heartache palpable to a near strangers. I'm not lost with nothing to do, wallowing in the choices I should make. In fact I've got TOO much to do. I guess it's just another Autism dagger that cuts both ways, as long as there is something to do, well you've got something to improve upon and that means that improvement is possible.