Oddly, this situation reminds me very much of when I was hugely pregnant. People have been projecting their expectations onto me for about the last month (thank god I don't have to wear a count down on my forehead like I did under my cotton knit blends when I was pregnant). I find these expectations funny because Dave and I have been together for ten years this August, yet people still feel compelled to ask me if I'm nervous. It's as stereotypical as requesting a belly rub or asking if I'm carrying twins (which is something people frequently asked me while I was pregnant, both times, baby had front).
The only thing I'm nervous about is paying for this shin-dig. Since we are down to the nitty gritty (we have four days to get our floor plan, entrée selections and guest count in) we are just waiting for people to drop out. I just want this thing done and I really do feel that "the color of the napkins doesn't matter" (http://autismspewage.blogspot.com/2012/09/the-wedding-update-that-wasnt-nobody.html). Our compromise's have been many and great but it's still our best and most worthwhile shot to do this thing. Ironically being poor gives me a ton of control, but mostly because I've got to do it all myself (but ASD & regular mommies feel me here) what else is new.
|Hey girl, I'm loving those legs!|
With that being said, I still don't feel too panicked. Before I even got pregnant with Jonathan DH (in nick-name only) and I were talking about getting married. He proposed officially when I was six months pregnant with David (not that much after our initial talks). Many tax returns and one Autism diagnosis later here we finally are, a little over six years later. So, to say I'm ready is a bit of an understatement
My thoughts are DH and I have already weathered some of the major issues most couples would split over. We've experienced a job-loss, eviction, and of course, illness of a child. The illness being Autism, the most debated, controversial and frustrating disorder to speak of, all this while dealing with all of J's bio-medical issues to boot. We are survivors of the great Autism statistic (supposedly 80% of marriages in which a child is diagnosed don't last) and we've come out whole on the other side. Believe me, I'm not tempting fate, but we are solid. Our backgrounds, morals and goals are the same and they all revolve around our boys.
So should you feel compelled to ask, I'll answer you now with a wry smile: don't worry about my feet, they are toasty warm :)